the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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