Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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