You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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