Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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