Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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