I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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