I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
