the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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