meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
