After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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