The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
