I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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