there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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