At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
