I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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