Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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