Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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