wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
