i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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