I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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