Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
