So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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