you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
