Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
last night I used snow as a chaser
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
