I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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