how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
