like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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