I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
