its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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