6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
