sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
