you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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