it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
