My cat gives me a boner
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
