my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
