I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
