You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
