she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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