I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
