Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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