I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
