I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
