just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
