Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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