no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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