we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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