it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's blow job season.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
