Hey man sorry I got all grabby
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
