We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
