i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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