Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
