you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
mondays should just be called national damage control day
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
