i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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