Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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