i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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