she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
