i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
