He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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