so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
