I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
