Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
