my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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