So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
